Hum - Tum

Hum has never reached anywhere on time, Tum rarely ever gets late
Hum is the most un virgo virgo, Tum could organise a completed Rubik's cube better
Hum likes to read and write, Tum could talk till the cows come home
Hum likes to watch cricket, Tum would rather shop
Hum is too country, Tum could teach the Queen a thing or two
Hum likes the hills, Tum likes the seas
Hum hates brown, Tum loves brown
Hum likes beer, Tum loves wine
Hum squeezes the toothpaste at the bottom, Tum squashes it in the middle
Hum is vague, Tum is crystal
Hum is superstitious, Tum says "balls"

So many opposites, it had to happen.
Hum Tum are getting married - Jan 31 is the wedding and Feb 2 is the reception.

I miss.............

Walking up and down Carter road with someone I love,

monkeys entering my house,

rajma chawal,

Karaoke nights at Opus,

Evening parties at home,

Playing cards with friends,

Taking sutta break when I want,

hukka,

the stubborn press walla from bangalore,

nice smiling dhobi in mumbai,

being woken up by mom,

the friday evening jaunt to Bandra,

the sunday evening ride back to powai,

dancing on bollywood numbers,

Insti parties,

working for manfest,

Pub near my place which I loved and everyone hated but they still came along,

Pebble street,

sitting in the staircase,

playing cricket with bro,

being pulled along for shopping,

Indian Idol,

the feeling of having no work whatsoever,

reaching office at 11,

riding nik's bike,

Just sitting around.

2 more days to go.

English, my mother tongue

Ingredients for this blog post

Drunk guys - 2 nos

Bench by the waterway - 1 Nos

Manhattan like skyscrapers-lit-all-over - 45 nos

"Nippy in a nice sort of way" weather - 1 tblspoon

Friday evening "no-office tommorrow" lightness of the head - 1 dollop

Before it starts sounding any more gay, let me add...

Setting flavoured with women of all shapes and sizes - To your taste

So, basically me and a friend were sitting around after office, getting drunk and discussion was veering from one thing to another. We chatted about obvious stuff like Cricket and life in London. We rambled on about arbit stuff like these skyscrapers waste so much electricity. We mulled over thoughtfully about the group of women just hanging around and who was the hottest amongst them. Heck, we even thought of approaching them but discovered that I am chicken and he is chicken little. Ofcourse, we didnt accept it. Instead, we intellectualised the crap out of it and felt like Socrates and Plato.

And then, completely out of the blue, chicken little says "You know what, my mother tongue is English. It is sad but it is true". Surprising?! Yes, coz he is a Punjabi but talks like a Pakistani. Neither of them is anywhere close to England - so, I asked - if during immigration process they stamped his tongue instead of his passport. He looked at me and gave me his "get-set-for-profundity' look. And mouthed - "english is my mother tongue as that is the only language in which I can express myself romantically. I cant say - Kamla main tumhe pyar karta hoon."

To be fair, it would sound shady. But that got me thinking. And you know what happens when a drunk guy starts thinking - aloud. (Why the eff am I spelling thinking like thingking.) Moving on.... to thinking... He might be chicken little... but he is correct. For me too, the tongue has the invisible stamp of the queen's language. Why - coz

1. I have studied English longer than Hindi. English till 12th but Hindi only till 8th. (Boards I had German. Ya I am the cool one). Before you label me as a traitor, label the marking system of Hindi as effed up. Hindi you write and write and score a measly 65. German, I was done in half an hour and scored 90.

2. I speak more English than Hindi - at the workplace, with friends (unless I am swearing ofcourse. Swearing in English just doesnt give you the kick. I mean, think about it - what sounds more spiteful - mother f or madar...

3. I once lost my Reliance cellphone. To get a new one, you have to file an FIR. I went to the police station and started writing one. It was supposed to be in Hindi. Wrote a couple of lines and then got stuck at a word. I just couldnt bloody remember how to write it. Thats when it dawned upon me - holy cow - am angootha chhap in Hindi. Anyways, a Police uncle had to show it to me. After that, he ofcourse confirmed 10 times, if I was from the adjoining campus. I felt so ashamed of myself, I came back to my room and wrote the entire Hindi alphabelt again. Ofocurse, I had to google it first!!

All the above is just to make the blog long. real reason - why English is my mothertongue - because that is the language I think in.

When did this transition happen, how did it happen - I dont know and have no real inclination to brood over it. But, I am a little sad about it. Just a little. Yes.